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3 Ingredients to a Happy Marriage

7/27/2019

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​Have you ever wondered why some marriages last decades while others barely go two years? Why do some couples thrive and grow together while others crash and burn?

The secret? There are three secrets, actually; three ingredients to a happy and successful marriage. Without all three of these, many couples will struggle to remain connected and committed.

Communication

Communication is to a marriage what gasoline is to an automobile: without it, you’re not going anywhere. And the better the communication, the longer the “motor” will last.

The words we choose to connect with others are incredibly important. Use the right ones and you generate feelings of love, safety, and security. Use the wrong ones and your partner is apt to feel anger and resentment.

It is often said that HOW you say something is as important as WHAT you say, and in many ways, this is true. When you ask your spouse a question, is their answer thoughtful or dismissive? Do they say, “Yes, that sounds like a great plan,” or “Whatever?” Both are affirmative, but only the first sentence is positive and respectful.

But perhaps the most important factor of good communication is listening. Many marriages have been improved when one or more people learn how to be a good listener.

How exactly do you become a good listener? Two ways: Start caring more about your partner – when you care for someone, you are truly interested in what they have to say. Second, when they are speaking, don’t think about other things – don’t think about your day or what you’d like to have for dinner – don’t even think about how you’d like to respond to what your partner is saying, simply LISTEN to them. Give them your full attention.

The better listeners and communicators you both are, the better partners you can be to each other.

Know Yourself and Your Partner

The sad fact is, most people spend more time trying to understand how their smartphone or tablet works than how their own personality – or that of their partner -works. We’re all individuals with unique quirks and behaviors. The more we understand about ourselves and our spouse, the less conflict we’ll experience.

Put Each Other First

Happy and successful marriages are the ones where each person is putting their partner’s needs first. When both are doing this, all needs are being met. Problems arise when only one individual meets their partner’s needs. When this happens, one person is happy, the other is left out in the cold.

If, after reading this, you have become aware that your marriage is missing some of these critical ingredients, don’t be afraid to seek help from a therapist. Sometimes an impartial third party can help both individuals get their priorities straight.

If you or a loved one is interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.
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How Mindfulness and Meditation Can Help with Mental Health

7/19/2019

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​The symptoms of anxiety and depression can feel like a whirlwind. One day, you may wake up to discover that your symptoms have taken over your life. Even completing daily activities can feel overwhelming. 

What if we told you that you could “stop” the rush of feelings and emotions and just stay in the present moment? That you could approach each new day with a calm, clear head? What if we told you that you could even prevent the progression of anxiety or depression? 

You may not be able to do all of these things tomorrow, but we can help to guide you on a path toward this peaceful mindset. This path is called “mindfulness.” It’s not just a buzzword – mindfulness has gained fast popularity for a reason. Using mindfulness and meditation practices can help improve overall mental health and give you the tools to live a more peaceful and present life. 

What Is “Mindfulness?” 

Mindfulness is simply the state of being present where you are. That’s it! It is a state of recognizing what is going on around you and inside you. When you stay in the present, you stay out of the past (which can lead to depression) and out of the future (which can lead to anxiety.) 

In a world with many distractions and responsibilities, achieving mindfulness is easier said than done. But with patience and practice, you can begin to live a more mindful life. 

How Mindfulness Benefits Mental Health

Mindfulness provides mental health help in many ways:

Awareness
Stabilization
Prevention 
Awareness

When you spend more time in the present, you can identify what is happening in your body. Are you starting to feel anxious? Do you notice that your heart is beating fast? Are you surrounded by “triggers?” Mindfulness helps you recognize these signs and symptoms before they can take over. 

This awareness is especially poignant for people living with addiction. Research published in JAMA Psychiatry detailed a study on people who participated in a mindfulness program to treat addiction. The results were very positive: 

“Six months following the intervention, the mindfulness-based program and the standard relapse-prevention program were both more successful at reducing relapse than the 12-step program. One year later, the mindfulness-based program proved better than the other two in reducing drinking and drug use.” 

Stabilization

When your mind detects a threat, it goes into a primal “fight, flight or freeze” mode. Your heart rate increases, you may start to sweat, and suddenly you feel the need to run away or become aggressive. You get caught in your own head and seemingly lose control of bodily functions.

Mindfulness can help you regain that control. When you meditate to achieve mindfulness, you begin to slow your breathing. Slow, deep breathing sends a signal to your brain that says, “I’m safe. I’m calm. There is nothing threatening me right now.” When your brain receives that message, it calms the rest of your body. Your heart rate drops to a normal rate and you stop shaking. The tasks ahead of you seem easier to accomplish. With a clear head, you can go about your day. 

Will meditation really make you more productive? For the answer, a study conducted at H.A. Montgomery Company concluded that employees who participated in a program that included regular Transcendental Meditation increased their productivity 120%!

Prevention

Depression or addiction may not visit your door just once. Many people with mental health issues experience relapses – periods of time in which the symptoms come back and cause a subsequent depressive episode. Mindfulness can help to prevent these symptoms from coming back and affecting your life.

Researchers at the University of Colorado looked at a group of pregnant women who were likely to experience a relapse due to postpartum depression. Meditation helped to reduce the relapse rate by 12%. 

Start Practicing Mindfulness Today

Mindfulness can be achieved in many ways. learning to meditate may seem difficult or even impossible to do. You may be reading this and saying to yourself I have tried to mediate and it just doesn’t work for me. However, meditation is easier than it looks – even if you cannot seem to quiet your mind. Guided meditations, musical meditations, and other exercises can help you achieve mindfulness without the struggle of trying to shutting down your thoughts.  

Let’s find the best meditation program for you. Request an appointment on our website today to start on your mindfulness journey.
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3 Ways Individual Counseling Can Help Your Marriage

7/13/2019

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​Even happily married couples can hit obstacles along the way. When this happens, couples can either go it alone and try to work through their issues themselves, or they can seek the guidance of a trained and experienced marriage counselor. While some couples feel their problems should be kept private, many more are finding the value of seeking help from an impartial and nonjudgmental third party.

Here are 3 ways individual counseling can help your marriage.

Identifying Behavioral Patterns
Most of us are aware of our partner’s behaviors but unaware of our own. And, most challenges faced by spouses is the result of the patterns between them. But when you only see half (or less) of the dysfunctional patterns, the problems in the marriage can seem confusing and overwhelming.

A therapist is trained to help individuals recognize their own negative patterns and how they manifest in a relationship. The result is both partners are empowered and able to take a step back during conflicts as they occur, preventing escalation.

As a bonus, a therapist can also point out the strengths and resources they find in your relationship so you can leverage and learn how to nourish them.

Change at the Root Level
Once your therapist has helped you identify negative patterns, they can then help you understand why they are happening and assist you in changing them. Most behavioral patterns are formed and ingrained when we are very young – before we become self-aware and before we’ve met our significant others.

Understanding why your partner reacts a certain way can create empathy and help communication. Once you’ve laid this solid foundation, your therapist can give you specific adjustments that can change your relationship for the better.

Deeper Intimacy
A therapist will not only tailor changes based on your unique dynamics as a couple, they will help you practice the adjustments and encourage you to remain vigilant and consistent. The result is a deeper intimacy and a deeper understanding of each other with a renewed commitment to meet each other’s needs and desires.

While you may first feel embarrassed discussing marital problems in front of a stranger, ultimately a marriage counselor can bring you both to a more fulfilling phase of your partnership.

If you or a loved one is interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.
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  • Home
  • Services
    • Telehealth Appointments
    • Safe and Sound Protocol
    • Mind-fullness Based Therapy
    • Individual Therapy
    • Family Counseling
  • Rates & Insurance
  • Therapists
    • Mary Azar
    • Andrea Bain-Frye
    • Gina Bonino
    • Jessica Breske
    • Cassandra Graff
    • Sierra Farmer
    • Sara Fowler
    • Samantha Habusta
    • Gabrielle Hawkins
    • Michelle "Shelly" Kepford
    • Benjamin Leber
    • Dorothy Lopez
    • Krista McCulloch
    • Savannah Naugle-Baker
    • Kaitlin Nitz
    • Robert Roggenbuck
    • Lacey Schroeder
    • Katie Trout
    • Kristina Vahoski
    • Mariah Waller
    • Mary Wesley
  • Office Staff
    • Desiree VanValkenburg
    • Avery Fleischmann
    • Aubrey Demoe
    • Jackie Nowowiejski
  • Resources
    • HiPAA Privacy Notice
    • Mental Health Links
    • Physical Health Links
    • Blog
  • About Us
    • Contact Us
    • Locations >
      • Henthorne
      • Arrowhead Park
    • Employment